My Last Fairwell

Nothing mattered since own death
Nothing mattered my last breath
I'd given time pushed away
All Pretend in light of day
No one heard plea over jeers
Dreadful words to hide mine tears
Love couldn't o'er power hate
Handed to me, my own fate
Differences none would defend
Rather you chose to offend
Given me no reason live
Living life total oblive'
Bloody death sweetness I taste
Seventeen years lived a waste
No tears will fall none will miss
As heart falls in deep abyss

Voices in My Head

Daddy it hurts, I don't know what's wrong
You looked me in the eyes and told me to stay strong
So that's what I did, I shut up all my tears
But no emotions ain't good enough through the years

You yell at me saying I want to get out
But it rarely crossed my mind till out your mouth it would shout
Telling me I'm wrong, showing each mistake
Breaking down my soul till there's nothing left to take

Daddy I'll be perfect, Expressionless, and null
I'll hide all my emotions behind this cracking wall
Just don't yell, don't scream, it's close to falling down
Cause then a thousand reasons you'll give me for my accidental frown

Fallen Apart Backwards Nation

Silly people standing still

Testing fate, received their fill
Holding true to lessons learned
Tribulation trial stirred

Children screw with little heads
Feed them monsters before bed
"Mommy daddy" Cries in sleep
Their dreams attack in the deep

Babies cry not one heard plea
Throw them into salty sea
Death not rare amongst people
Begging un'neath our steeple

We will not lend our hand
we kick them down back to sand
Reject those our Jesus loved
and find, it was us who horrified

One Plea To Late

Discouraged and weary I fall to me knees
If your on high I'm begging you please
These burdens are great too much for me to bear
All these troubles and hardships, God it doesn't seem fair

Save me from curses I don't fully understand
I have feared for my life since You've lifted Your hand
Refusing Protection that I've known so long
Rejection from You now I see I was wrong

God mercy I beg, save me from this Hell
I didn't get it, I didn't know, Take me from this place any lie I will tell
Savior say what's wrong with me, what brought me here?
Then I look around at fiery pits and suddenly all's clear

War

Life unrelated subtly you care

Memories of those days past blowing in my hair

Dreaming days gone long ago

Fast forward, but my mind tells me no

Dreams are real and life is void

my whole existence being toyed

Mind and body disagree

My soul is stuck unable to break free

Believing what you can't reality has been told

Truth, it's a choice, what is seen and what I hold

Constant moving though everything seems black

Working, shooting "Come on men let's pick up the slack!!

Lack of point no morality I deem

What is this? I still hear them scream.

Explosions flashing red paint splatters on my face

Because of your war I'll never go back to normals pace

Saved Me

Dying off one by one, Friends side by side

Christians turned me off by day, in dope I would abide

Taking all my hurts and fears, feeling could not bring

Party, smoke, drink, and die my mind would constant sing

Mother finally kicked me out on weekends wouldn't feed

Into this addict forcing me to seek out hungers need

Walking around aimlessly until Your house I find

Taking comfort in everything my body once denied

Lost in reasons given to those who wearily ask

About my life, where I'm going, and walking way my past

Couldn't convince me I was wrong, fingers in my ears

Something more than words spoke you, facing all my fears

Sitting up for hours, till midnight had long gone

Hearing me, care for real, not pointing out my wrongs

Breaking walls for years I built to keep You always out

Thinking I control my fate making my own route

Love and kindness drew me in, broke down in Your arms

Finally letting You come in with out internal alarms

I'm not perfect I'll never be, but this new path is paved

A narrow one, I'll walk upon, because me You saved

Peace

Surprised to find that life was out of sync

The constant rhythm of comfort

Lost in ripples

Do I even matter?

Spinning around the dread of worthlessness

Keeping my head above water

Fight for my last breath

Am I even Alive?

Circling around wounds that once comfort

Destruction becomes my best friend

Wishing for more time

What's the point to this life?

Tingling sensation losing feeling

Floating between this life and death

Death seems easier

Than this life all alone