Its Not too Late

“Why Hello little girl, am I drunk? Now, what was your first clue?
Maybe the fact I’m unstable, and shaky? Without work, and don’t know what to do?
I’m a monster without my bottle and I know my family hates it
But my anger to the world and strongholds are dug to deep to truly quit it

My mothers disappointed, all I bring to my father is more shame
But I don’t care about this life; to God I’m nothing more than just a game
I’m a screw up, I’m a mess. You all hate me I’m a wreck
Wait, Hold on, I’m out, I need another drink, this will only take a sec

The streets are my friends as long as my heads fuzzy, I can lie and tell you it’s all right
But when I wake up, I’m in depression, so sick of this, real life can really bite
So “Good evening young lady, How much? I like your smile I like your eyes
Wanna come with me” I’ll tell you I’ll be gentle, even though I know its all lies

I’m despicable I’m ugly my heart is black like night
I don’t even like me I’m giving up this useless fight
I’ll be drinking on the street, I’ll probably fall asleep
And when I am arrested, I’ll be so sorry, and probably start to weep

My family will believe me once again I’ll really try, and pretend I’m going to change
But give me a few months, I’ll be on the streets, everything’s the same
“Oh get away from me, you freak; I don’t want to hear your Jesus crap
Leave me alone, scram, Hit the highway, I’ll even buy you an old map

God couldn’t love me I sold my soul to the devil a ticket straight to Hell
You keep your Jesus to yourself, and we’ll get along just as well
HE really doesn’t care, why would he die for me
Thanks for sharing, it’s too late, I guess I wasn’t meant to be free

He bought me with His blood what a fool He must be
Even I would not be willing to ever die for me
You say “He wants me, and loves me” Even I you almost had
But I know he couldn’t love me its wrong I’m just too bad

Man I wish I could change I really, really do

But, I mean, If what you're saying is truly, truly true

Then why would such a perfect God come to earth to die for me?

I haven't done anything to deserve being free

A drunk to my death a sinner to my grave

Why aren't you like everyone else who thinks I'm crazed, mad, and on a rave

Why can't you believe me when i promise I don't care

My mask is falling and you're seeing what no one else would dare

You were right when you said my heart ached for something a bottle can not fill

My life has been so empty, incomplete, and nil

God I’m sorry Please believe me I know I used so many chance

But please forgive me, You are Holy, Get me out of this hopeless trance!!

I’m on my knees I beg forgiveness I want you to be my God
No more bottle no more running I’m done with this façade
Now all of you out there look me in the eyes
God is real God is here. Don’t listen to the world’s lies

Nothing that you do is so bad he can’t forgive
So bow down at His feet, pick up your cross, and have hope that you will live
Cause my God isn’t dead
And that’s the truest thing ever said!

You

When survival seems the only option the obvious path seems so clear
She can walk down the street, her head held high, but in her distant eyes, lingers fear
People, they can’t mock her they can’t tell her what to do
But sure, there words can sting, dark cold lies from that crew

They wish upon her death scratching lies by her name
Saying things, she knows ain’t true, only adding to her shame
The thin cuts all up her arm? “Just a way to deal” she’ll calmly say
Even though she’s well aware it’s an excuse and there always is another way

“Your life is way to short” I look in her eyes and I scream
But it won’t change her mind, her futures already faded to a dream
“Life’s not worth living, I’m tired, I’m cut down, and they don’t want me here
It’s too late to save me, and besides why would you care?”

The hardness, called her heart, wrapped in thorns and pretty ties
That kept everybody out giving her space to listen to her lies
Her thorns now cut my hands as I reach in blood pouring from my vein
She screams “It hurts, let go all you cause me is more pain”

I won’t let go! My hand is reaching out for hers.
I say “I love you” as she spews at me her angry slurs
“My dear don’t do this, your precious can’t you see?
I made you for so much more than they say you could be”

She twists and pulls, leaving scars in my hands, she cursed
She’s overwhelmed and scared her emotions preparing to burst
Everything she wanted everything she thought being tested she’s falling to her knee
The hatred that she’s felt never letting her be free

She’s confused and lashing out, and going back to what is “safe”
But her mental battle hasn’t ended and there still is no relief
Her time is set, or so she hopes, she is ready for her grave
“You just lie, and I can’t trust, me you’ll never get to save”

“But darling don’t you see, look at me, and tell me I don’t care
My love for you is treasured, precious, and one that is so rare
No sea can measure; no mind could imagine just how much to me you mean
I’ve never left you, I’m always here, but you refuse to let that seen

Scared of hurt lack of trust, I’ll never let you go
Curse my name, cut me deeper, but my love will always show
I knew you before your birth and loved you just the same
I knew your every thought, I knew your fears, I even knew your name


You’re always on my mind held in my hand I hold you tight
Even though you run, for you, I’ll never give up this fight
You’re beautiful, you’re lovely, my daughter it’s not your time
Don’t do this; I love you, Even though it hurts to climb

This mountains high so steep, but the top is drawing near
Hold on, I’m with you; I have always made that clear
You’re unique; you’re wonderful, far more precious than any stone
You don’t belong to this world, so what they say, you don’t own!

Come to me, my hands outstretched, I’m calling you to live
Your life in me is freedom, and to you want to give
Just call my name, and let me in, for beauty you were made
Give me all your hurts and fears, trust me, you have no reason to be afraid”

She looks at me with tears in her eyes, a glisten that’s never been
“I want that” and with that death simply could not win
Her face now filled with joy she tells others her story clearly
Of a savior who is there and always loved her dearly

“Take my past take my future, Take my thoughts take my all
I’m so tired of this world that keeps building up this wall
No more separation you are real you are here
Your love for me is so immense that I can feel when you are near

No more hiding no more running I lay it at the cross
I give it all to to you I want you to be the boss
The razor was held against my vein when everything was dark
But because of what you said it couldn’t leave its mark

It’s you I love its you I trust, through you I no longer am bound
In you my heart is safe, through you my hope is found
You picked me up from darkness even though I was a mess
And because of what you did, from my mouth, only your name I will bless.”

God where are You?

"God where are You?"

"Lord My friends are hurting, peoples lives torn apart
Where are YOU? Because right now, what I'm seeing is dark
I keep hearing a girl crying because her mothers gone,
and a boy throwing fists at the wall because his father told him to be strong.
The clouds keep rolling in, getting darker and thicker.
And I'm going to be honest, My heart is beating quicker.
Right now Come alive, is my worst fear
A long time ago you told me somewhere

"Don't be afraid, for I am with you.
Don't be discouraged, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you.
I will hold you up with my victorious right hand."
-Isaiah 41:10

But lately Your right hand seems kinda far.
Times are getting tough and I have over come so much,
but for every step forward, it seems like I'm taking a step back.
Losing my way I'm far from on track.
Time keeps slipping away.
Days keep passing by, meaningless days.
Wondering whats going on?
It doesn't seem right, I thought I was strong!
But I look around and keep getting told that I'm wrong.
But wanna know whats funny
or maybe not funny, but awesome despite
No matter what I think, say, or feel
There's one thing I can depend on I know that its real
God You're here, I base this all on faith

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. -Hebrews 11:1

Such big meaning for one little word
but its what keeps me going whenever I start to question.
God You're real and You're active.
And I can list story after story, of what You've done in my life.
Of times I have seen you at work, and caring.

God help me be strong when I feel like collapsing,
Give me rest when all I can do is toss and turn,
Give me peace when I'm all alone,
Remind me I'm precious when I want to die
A treasure worth waiting for when I want to give in
Give me courage when I'm scared to stand tall
and let me rest in your presence When I'm about to fall"